DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
