i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
