come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
