I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
