u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
