Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
