I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
