Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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