a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
did you just send me my own nude
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
