i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize