I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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