Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
