I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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