it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
