Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
