well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You smell like stripper and shame
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize