i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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