i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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