I can tuck mytits in my pants
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The power of my boobs compel you
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i out mim tonsoeep
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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