Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just found puke in my bra..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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