i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
