shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
