Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
