You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize