dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize