Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
