yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
