K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you would pick up someone in the library
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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