Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
