these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
