I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
