part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
