About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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