I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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