just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
