i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
