problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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