This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
