im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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