You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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