Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize