I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
