he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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