i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
