I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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