There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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