my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
