And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
do nipples grow back?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
