What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
