I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize