watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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