How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
