I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
