New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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