just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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