DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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