I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
tell me about the fingering
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
