You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
