Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she pinky promised me she was 18
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
