I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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