This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
