I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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