don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
