I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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