Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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