This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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