why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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