Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
