it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
