As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
