I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
