Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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