I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
