careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
