Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
