you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
