i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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