I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
